November 24th, 2020
Covid tracking, the bad mathHere is a example of the math they do on Texas Covid reporting.
Yesterday was 1,100.979 cases, today is 1,115,371. The
difference is 18,998 cases in one day. What do they show
in the side bar, 13,998 with a blurb about 394 cases added
from before older information. Thats 14,392 cases, what about
the other 4,606 cases?
Tomorrow will be even higher, and the math wont add up. Best
guess is true 21,205 cases if I go by the past math. This is a 24 hour
projection. We will see by 6pm tomorrow night if I was close
or not. But, following the numeric trends.
You dont want to know my December projections when the first
true arctic blast hit the states.
November 23rd, 2020
Hollow gestures and hidden meaningsI didnt post about the RAC meeting right off because I found it so very
depressing. Mockish, joyless.
Monday they finally put up the meeting information 3 days before
it started. I had spent the weekend pointing out there was nothing
up other than the federal register notice till then. Karen Block was
either not getting the point or she didnt want to. Others were even
worse with there silence but I wasnt wrong. I saw the federal register
notice when no one else did. Been reading that bastard every day
for 23 years now.
The meeting was so badly done from a technical aspect. The adobe
audio was tinny and vague. Had to call in while using the net to
follow the presentations. Noticed that as soon as it started they
killed the chat room features so it was totally silent the whole time.
It was heavy handed promoting the secret DOD CDMRP event as
they made it sound like a massive showing. Only, this was just
just the RAC, VA, DOD, and the NGWRC. Designed to keep away
opinions and criticism they didnt want. This was very familiar of
the deployment health days. They had a hand in that.
I found myself completely censored in every way. Finally even said
so by the only tool I had available, my login name. Not that anyone
noticed or cared. They had want they wanted, a private showing
and still able ignore people like me year after year right in front of
them. Public comment didnt matter, no one listens to it or acts
on it. They werent going to let me speak then either and didnt.
I guess the other advocates are fine with that. Only, they forgot
what happened to the big 5 back in 2002. They allowed the driving
out of the grass roots from events, and then VA / DOD started
leaving them out too. The big shut out.
Cant turn to the VHAC, they arent taking calls. Seems Congress
is now in on all this also. So that has become a dead end.
The RAC meeting was so terrible this time. A all time low that
now paradoies some of the worst DOD meetings back before
the 2002 shut out. But, to me this is tax fraud and waste of
tax payer dollars to privatize this in such a non-productive manner.
Only, for some reason I have no civil or constitutional rights these
days. Being a combat veteran means nothing to anyone.
Doesnt matter that Ive lost nearly 30 lbs this year to illness and
problems Im fighting daily. VA isnt helping because of the Covid
pandemic, so my blood labs and are not consecutive or of the
right things. 2 draws in one years wont help find a new baseline.
All the lipid and triglycerides panels were left out. Yet, Im sure
there up around 400 to 500 right now. Which is like being on 20
cups of coffee a day. Cant sleep mat night, maybe 2 to 3 hours.
Keep in mind Im loosing weight like this, not gorging.
Thanks giving? Thankful for what? The world is spiraling inwards
and the stupid running a muck. Been the worst year of my life in
this pandemic, and every sleazy shitty drugged up asshole out
there taking advantage of everyone around them. No one cares
what is right, and they screw each other over in these bizarre
ways that just come off petty. Anything goes, and out by me
at least 5 ex-cons and druggies have free reign to mess with
the whole area. The others around them dont see it or dont care
what the truth is. Have 2 large outfits out here that hire them, and
probably know they are doing what they are. Makes this organized
crime families. Double standards abound. Im saving the video for
the sheriff to show which ones are habitual.
What I see in America right now is a fairly universal contempt for
the country, and people cant or wont do what is right to save the
country or there own neighborhoods. Why should I expect better
of RAC and VA when they are a reflection of all around them. No
leadership out there of any kind.
What I resent is, having been nearly spot on much of the year
and it means nothing because I have no PHD. There is so much
arrogance out there. Yet, I saw the October spike back in April
and made sure to prepare for it. Far more than anyone around me
or the school, state, government did. I cant ask for help, its not
there. Knew I would be abandoned by all. That was from my homeless
days when I saw how people treated me then. Spent my whole life
preparing for that again, so wouldnt have to ask for help that wasnt
Denial is a terrible thing, and subjective clouded reasoning. Half this
country is WAY off the mark, and dragging the other half down.
How exhausting that others spread misery, and expect the kindness
they dont give. Its too easy to inflict pain, and if you dont feel it
then its not real? That kind of sadism is going to end badly for a
bunch of folks out there. You might not remember, but those you hurt
will. Those that inflict today, your on the way to getting soon - as you
whine how its not fair. It will be your turn because of denial.
Americas is no where near doing what is right for its people. Its own
people are making that happen, the bad half. The other half sits at home
waiting for someone else to fix it. Totally dysfunctional. Which is why
Covid is out of control. The stupid making sure that no one else can
make a difference. Cancel each other out.
How can I hope for progress when there is no honest platform for it.
Another note. There is a reporting anomaly with the Covid infection rates
that is out of sync with the disease. Every Monday they under report
the infections and then Tuesday over report. Wednesday ends up
being a peak reporting day when it shouldnt. This goes back to the
beginning of reporting and seems constant. As well as being short
several hundred a day during large number events. Ive kept a spread
sheet from the beginning for Texas and follow it zealously. Backed up
in multiple ways to prevent data loss. Dont trust what you hear in
the media. Its running about 10% below on average and they use
a catch up system that isnt math driven.
November 13th, 2020
Thanks of a ungrateful nation?Ironically, the President right now is certainly a reflection of at
least half the country. The ignorant defiant part that says Covid isnt
a issue and ignorance will reign no matter what. Those non-mask
wearing people coughing in public that think the rest of us dont
matter. So many mean spirited folks out there stomping around
thinking this is there chance to be petty, malicious, and what are
you going to do about it. Not realizing the long term implications
of spreading any form of hardship. Others dont forget.
Sick vets like myself have had a really bad year out there. Those of
us that have lived with hardship the better part of 30 years now
cant afford to play loose and fast with our lives. On the anniversary
of the Gulf War people are behaving like veterans dont matter. The
day to day things that most take for granted, we struggle with in
the middle of a pandemic that only magnifies our own health issues.
This is a act of brutality on the part of the inconsiderate that dont
think about what health related hardship is like. Half of America is
out there spitting on the other half every day, and thinking this
will go one forever. Its the earmark of civil war that treading on others
is acceptable. Yet, they go on doing it with indifference.
Mostly this is people who dont know what real hardship is not caring
about those that live it. If they can get away with it, they plan
to spread misery while the opportunity is there. Anything goes,
life doesnt matter any more. Folks, you crossed a line in this country
that cant go back. From the White House on down, anything goes.
Let them eat cake. Only, that didnt turn out well from France did it.
All over entertainment, and boo hoo they cant get to a restaurant
this week. Way too much emphasis on living it up or being social
when its not appropriate. Quality of life matters, but not when it involves
someone else loosing out for it. Each act of cruelty, indifference, and
thoughtlessness is building around people as resentment grows
out of check. Your playing with fire, and it will back fire. Too much of
the "its someone else fault" crap while people spread problems and
dont think its them. The druggies, drunks, fake Christians, religious
nuts, political nuts, gun nuts, hate mongers, ex-cons, mentally ill, and
so on looking for victims. Not near enough civic minded folks that
dont get this isnt conditional, not some are more equal than others.
The double standard line has been crossed, and now its going to get
so much worse in 2021 as people cancel each other out. No one gets
ahead now. How dare one person do better than others. This is
reduced to animal behavior and in the wild nature pretty much bitch
slaps the ignorant. Your not going to win like this, no true mutual
goals or civic projects. Mob rules?
I was at the Waco VAMC this week. I saw a picture of Trump on the
wall with loser, and a swastika drawn over his face. Ive never seen
graffiti likes this on a executive posters openly in a VA. Yet, Ive
been told this happens often there in front of cameras. Its in a
stark quiet front room with almost no one in there when it should be
full of patients. If that is not a sign of the times then what is?
The ignorant ruined 2020, and 2021 your going to find short tempers
as Covid reaches the silent majority deeper. Your playing with fire
and now there is gasoline everywhere around you. The haves are
flaunting in front of the have nots - and its growing past 40,000,000
looking for targets. Look in the mirror folks, you dont really see what
is there right now. Grow up about this, become aware of others. Its
too late once all the real crazy stuff erupts. Then 40 years of misery
just like after the french revolution as the world goes stagnant.
November 5th, 2020
How low can you go, how low can you go?Federal Register puts out a notice of a RAC virtual meeting on
November 18th at 11am. To discuss the secret August 18th
DOD Gulf war state of science meeting that wasnt announced
publicly. Only the good ole inner circle was told that wouldn't
defy them or cause ripples. Certainly wasnt posted any where
including the RAC website.
Guess what, this isnt up any where either so if you didnt see
the federal register that day then tough luck. Its 8 days out and
nothing on the RAC website including the meetings page. Boy
does this take me back to the IOM meetings that were not
announced and so on. Had to fight back then to find out tiny
details and now its none.
Keep trying to call the HVAC at Congress only to get voice
mail straight off on all the lines. House Veteran Affairs committee
must be taking a very long nap.
Talk about rolling back to 1999 and the same tricks with the
DOD research committees then. Didnt miss a step.
OK, what did the RAC, WRIISC, WRAMC, or anyone pioneer the
last 2 years that works broad scale. How about a little bit. How
about anyone even getting seen by a doctor much less the
WRIISC? Vitamins, acupressure.
This is what the veterans have to thank for in DC, nothing, and
lots of it. Which the burn pit crowd sure has found out.
Deployment Health is at the center of this and they got what they
wanted. Silenced anything about the records from the war, and made
sure all forms of external reporting is silent. Now they wait us out
after 30 years of nothing, and keep it that way till all the GWI vets
are finally gone. Saved the country big money cheating us, and keeping
us at bay.
Sad the RAC is such a tool for the bad guys now. Make sure that
whoever is groveling at the table cant get any traction. Make sure
Congress doesnt look into it. Just sit, and wait.
November 5th, 2020
Predictions in the face of 2021My predictions still hold up. Like with the local school. They wanted
to put Kayle back in, and stop home schooling. I protested that
it was not a good idea. I had predicted by late October Covid would
be in this school no matter what they did. Get the call yesterday,
Kayle can go on home schooling - about 4 days from it happening.
Covid hit Crawford like others. 3 schools in Waco closing and so on.
Well, Ive been pounding the numbers and based on my spreadsheet
more than 15,000,000 Texans will have or had Covid by the end
of next year. Unless some big game changer comes along. Only, Im
not predicting 6% mortality unless a serious mutation hits by February.
I still think like 10,000,000 have been passing it around already and not
know it. Mild symptoms. That like 7% go down hard. That would reflect the
current state numbers. Its the complications that get you.
Ive come to a realization with the election though, more than half this
country is really messed up. Stick there head in the sand total denial
of reality types going backwards. I had wondered the last 20 years
just what the hell was going on out there with people. The things they
allow, the apathy they show. Well, last few months I see that people
are going to allow America to fail hard, and point the finger at others
while not looking in the mirror at all. Not raise a finger, and even add
to the misery whenever possible. Which is why they are going to bitch
and moan as everything falls apart, only making it worse,
Got to start with the basics. Rebuild the infrastructure. Power, water,
sewage, roads, bridges, farms, postal and shipping. Then cut off foreign
aid to the world and let them go screw themselves. The money stays
home, period. Lastly, cut off the big spenders and pro rate the whole
damn industries like medical, real estate, banking, and other abuser.
Then, cut off credit card industry. Get control of the 4% skimming it all
off the top for themselves. The rich arent helping any of us right now
buying up, and selling off what is left in pieces. Lastly, limit the executive
branch to flat taxes and random drawing for positions like the Spartans
did 1,800 years ago. No one is in long enough to get fat.
Makes me so mad that people cant and wont do what is right much
less lift a finger these days. Someone elses fault, blame others,
help no one, get revenge. The stupid are ruining America and its like
a perpetual motion machine defying reality. It cant and wont work
in reverse. Which is why 2021 is going to even worse than 2020 in
so many ways. Till almost nothing is left. Fix it way after the fact.
As right now its super messed up, and all too real for me right now.
Not all of us are blind, or follow blindly. Doesnt mean we want anarchy,
but status quo means failure people. Change is coming either way.
Either we control it, or it controls us. The fear mongers wants status quo.
October 4th, 2020
Election, Covid, and a year gone wrongIts been such a sinister year over all. So many rotten people just
making America worse every day. Zero accountability in the middle
of a global pandemic that didnt need to be.
The rich rushed out to put everything back as it was so they can
go on skimming off the top. Cutting each other throats, till the
infrastructure has degenerated into 3rd world level. When Briggs
and Stratton went under, I knew this was very bad. This was a
company we needed, not some of what was propped up that
we didnt. The whole economy needs to revamp, go another route,
and conserve. The days of surplus are gone.
VA is still very much happy with all this. No organized vets on
there doors making demands. Burn pit crowd is trying, but the 9-11
mentality that drove those civil servants to early graves is very
much alive. Fire fighters that died for there country, and it betrayed
them for it like it did the GW vets. Drive anyone away that wasnt
part of the wealthy keeping the 4% in charge.
Well, as long as the GW vets continue being self serving and focus
only on themselves, VA won. No one helps no one. They walk up
demanding benefits and get turned away being "Armies of one". The
so called advocates pretty much disbanded to go build shrines
to themselves. The RAC committee sits in limbo doing VA's bidding
to keep everything quiet, internal, and do nothing that VA doesnt
want. A few remnant researchers on the outside plod on is small
singular ways. Being waited out. The Secretary of VA has a closed
audience so no one can trip him up, and keep anyone at bay with
ideas or demands. I should know.
30 years after the war, its still 96% classified and those records sealed
for 50 to protect the criminals from prosecution that profited. Anyone
that was in the higher ranks sworn to secrecy to protect retirements.
Only people with no rights, are the lower enlisted that suffered all
these years in forced silence.
You would think these would be election issues. But, so much distraction
going on and struggling for survival - no one poor can organize. The rich
made sure we have no platforms or ways to rally. Its a total shut out at
the executive and judicial branches. The people themselves too easily
swayed by petty squabbling to organize in meaningful ways. Your being
forced to settle for the former Obama team that shut us out or the
current regime that walks on our backs in this election. I for one would
rather do a write in vote for Morgan Freeman. He has style and played
both versions better than anyone in films. But, I imagine he would hate
the job and I would not blame him.
Common sense and decency are in short supply. Covid is now ramping
up for a deadly winter here. The stupid are every where making bad choices.
Its a baby sitting job on all levels these days because all the wrong people
are out forcing there idiocy on others. To me, America is little more than
a bunch of monkeys flinging poop at each other. Reduced to animal instincts
and behaviors over rational concepts. Locally, its even lower than that
because animals get tired of the smell of poop - the morons here sink
lower every day because Covid didnt kill them yet. Only, there getting
older and others see them for what they are. Not that people will do whats
right these days to fix it. Some one elses fault? Wrong.
This pointless election will only continue status quo, and lack of change.
Real change will happen when people organize for other purposes than
trying to make minorities the priorities. Its all or nothing people, and
all the efforts other than true social are wasted. Personally, if you go based
on primate behavior - humanity is screwed. Better wake up, and realize
that no one wins if this keeps being which ape has the most bananas.
Apes would kill each other off rather than cooperate as a whole. They
work at top down barely, and it never ends well because of that. Right
now its like all the interbred Neanderthal DNA out there has rallied to get
there revenge for homo sapiens bumping them off. Im surprised there
isnt a effort to bring back woolly mammoths for them to hunt once more.
You know the types, got to have gun in there hand and shoot around
peoples homes. America in 2021, lets get back to 100,000 year ago.
There is being smart, then there is being ruthless. Not enough of one,
and too much of the other. Keeping everyone disorganized. Focus people.
Your not thinking about the future at all. If you are, you cant be alone
in it. Your stuck with each other and its not conditional.
September 5th, 2020
and Dynein - Kinesin protein functions
debate. What is the smallest feature of this from the cell wall to the
inner workings that hasnt really been addressed. I caught a youtube
video of the Dynein protein walking along a micro tubule that seriously
weird-ed me out. The ATP chemical function on its motility struck a
nerve on transport methods in and out of the cell. Glutamate s have
a effect on this. This takes it all down to the atomic level of chemical
interactions, nothing below this feature from the mitochondria to the
Today I pitched this to the VA RAC, attached to a email from a year ago
about the before / after genome projects to map GWI's genes to show
the DNA changes after the war. Nothing has been said about this the
last year on the genome project. Had been saying for years we need
to nail down the protein / enzyme abnormalities ( 4,000 to 6,000 ) that
would apply. Genome segments would narrow down to 40 areas that
First post on my website I had said this got no reaction. A few hours
later I got a email from Lawrence Steinman ( chairman ) saying my idea
was great. But, he started talking only about the Dynein and left out the less
stable Kinesin protein. So I had to send out a second email asking
they look at both equally. This conversation seemed awful familiar
to a year ago when he said my genome project was great also and
then that went silent.
Im such a undervalued resources in this crowd. So much arrogance
and contempt from people spinning there wheels. But, I know I dont
want on this committee because VA would hamstring me the way
it did on my VA advisory committee 10 years ago. They play dirty
and look for ways to silence brilliance or inspriation. The RAC now
is gutted and planted with ringers short of Dr Baraniuk. But, he is
not a team player either and over time they will use that against him.
Of course this will all go no where. We have no oversight, much less
people that even care. This is about singling out people like me and
wait us out till we die. So VA can go on making Gulf war illness a mystery
that cant be solved. Just like DOD still hiding the bulk of the records from
the Gulf war out to 50 years thanks to Obama. If it went well, why is it
still 99% classified 30 years later? To protect the corrupt politicians
that profited from the war. Im fighting on 2 fronts between the records
and the medical care to a silent arena with no platform.
There is a tremendous sense of cruelty in all this, as vets like myself
are vilified and kept at arms length for serving out country. Day to day
life is mostly hardship that no one cares happen. Living with 30 years
of health issues that VA went out of its way to insult, and trivialize.
Average American looks at me and frowns Im not missing a arm
or leg. You cant be disabled, you dont look it. Which makes it easier
for them to be judgmental and treat me badly. Too many people now
that cant wait to find someone to take there crap out on, and veterans
are easy targets for cowards.
Where do I go with all this? Im looking for answers. Im closer than
anyone to them as I pay attention. but, America is so backwards now and
all the wrong people are in charge day to day. The reason I say this is
you look for the simplest answers, and you resolve them. I expect
results along a time line. Thats where Im different, I expect tangible
results that fix things - and most are just out feeding petty emotions
or base animal revenge. You need a start point, and build up. Americans
are too busy tearing down what is left till Covid finishes them off.
August 5th, 2020
At a total loss
in the American wasteland
from the view of a lone vet in the wilds of Texas. Been through
a hellish year trying to prep for the devastation that would come
from a arrogant over confident population spiraling out of control.
In the end. nothing I said or did mattered in all this. So what if
I was prepared. Who cares I knew better about anything at all.
So taking all that down. Keep it simple.
Then it occurred to me, the attitude and indifference I had been given
the last 24 years as a advocate was only a reflection of what would
happen to all over time. Rome is burning, and people have given
up on doing what is right or caring. Which made it easy for the
minorities and others this year to try and kick off attempts to
champion there causes and fail to the same apathy. Now only to
become the hunted as the public backlash kicks off.
Where am I now in all this? How do Im advocate my fellow vets
and my own plight in such a hostile arena. Hostile? Absolutely.
The attitude when you step out the door is: Every person thinks
they come first and we owe them, so how dare anyone put there
needs ahead of them in any way. This bizarre contempt is only
building as no one helps no one, and those that used to help people
burn out from being over loaded. So Covid runs amuck while folks
sulk that there not worshiped. Waiting for others to fail, hiding at
home doing nothing, using up the last of the resources watching
the infrastructure collapse.
VA certainly cashed in on this. Works out so well for them. They
can hide from public opinion, hold no public meetings, and simply
let Covid do there job for them. Doctors dont even have to leave
there office or touch a vet. No medical baseline labs to track there
health. Worse yet, since GWI vets have a series of immune
problems Covid will seek us out and kill us off first. Then VA
can make up any story they want without opposition. Opps,
all the GW vets drank themselves to death - was substance abuse
The GW RAC is certainly no exception. Research? With nothing
but ringers on board and the flimsy veil of interest in public comments.
Reduced to one virtual meeting this year. The content of that July 7th
meeting was such a let down. Covid, DU, PTSD, stress. Its 1995
all over again thanks largely to Dr. Hunt. That old deployment health
grudge match to insult veteran to death firmly in place. Its all
somatic folks, vets are faking it. NOT. Jerks.
Then there is Congress. Who cares if veterans can survive the
new financial hardships. They didnt even have a plan with the
1st stimulus checks so that vets saw them. Much less meet
the skyrocketing cost of living in a crisis. Took a while just to
get that sorted out. You can tell they plan to wait us out and see how
many make it without help. There wont be a Cola increase or aid for us
this year. Maybe for what is left at the end of next year. Once they ranks
Im reduced to a spectator, watching the flood come in and only can
ride it out alone. Been right most of the year about my predictions,
more than the country, and its leaders. But, no one took any of
this serious and now the dread of August has come. How do I or
the rest of the sick GW vets make it in a country tanking hard. Where
thee is no clear leadership, plan, or method to solve the many leaks
in the dams about to burst. Survival in the coming year will be mostly
luck, random luck. Of which for me has mostly been bad for decades.
People out there wont do right by others, or themselves. World community
is watching America implode with glee and horror. As the golden goose
they picked at dries up. Not realizing the true devastation to come
by being petty. Was too easy for most to make it, had to ruin that
for others. Well, its all going backwards now really fast. As we slip
back to the 1800's. Cant just pick it apart.
How do I use this website to help anyone, much less me. Not sure
what to do or where to go. Last man standing? Thats not a reward
if all I have are turnips. ( Gone with the wind - ref ). Surviving in a
wasteland isnt survival. Believe me, been there a long time like that.
At least Ive got experience at this and be far more ready than
most. Sure going to miss it all though. Hell, already do. Im hustling
scraps like I did in the wilds of Iraq long ago. Im there once more.